A Tribute To Mom

Sometimes God calms the storms in our lives, but sometimes he just rides them with us. Either way, Blessed be the name of the Lord.

A couple of weeks ago, I was honoured to stand before and speak to a group of mothers' who have left or are considering leaving their full time jobs to raise their children. At the event I mentioned to those present that mum through our children drove all us children, all five of us, to school and back right till when we finished high school. She never missed a sports day, a swimming gala, a visiting day, a concert. Everyone present at the event gave my mum a standing ovation. Everyone acknowledged that we truly were raised by the best!

As I reflect on my mother's memory I am so blessed to have had her in my life. She was my special blessing, she showed me what real love felt like and looked like. If no one else ever loves me in this life, I know that I have been blessed to have felt love.

The day my mom passed on was a day such as this. Nothing out of the ordinary. Joe checked her into hospital at about 10.00am in the morning. My mother was a stickler for time. Unfortunately, I have never been. By the time I got there Joe and Mum had already been admitted and booked into a shared ward with three beds. We walked her there and put her neatly packed set of bags into the drawers and sat on the bed waiting. A nurse walked in and we all looked at her expectantly as she marveled asking “Kwani nani ndiyo mgonjwa hapa?” I suppose to her we all didn’t look quite like her usual patients. Mom giggled in her usual humility and said “Ni mimi”. The nurse, who by the choice of God shared a name with me, Janet, brought her the hospital attire. The last time my Mom was in a hospital gown was in 1988 when she had Joe; obviously she couldn’t figure out the gown, and I helped her get it done. Noting her discomfort, I poked fun at her. I said “Eh Mum, of all the uniforms they could give you, they chose Milimani Primary?” In reference to the brown gown. We had a good laugh. Joe who was chatting with my elder brother Ronn on whatsapp took out his phone and started taking pictures of us. At that point, mum leaned over the curtain and greeted the lady in the bed next to hers jovially “Habari Ya Jirani?” The lady who seemed to be in a lot of pain managed a smile and responded “Mzuri!”. A little while later, I thought that she may get cold and decided to run down to my house to get her a pair of socks and an extra blanket. As Joe and I left to make a quick dash to the house, my mum asked us to fetch her bible from her bag for her to read while we were away.

So we went to fetch some socks and those who know me and my mum, must be smiling now. I take pride in having the largest collection of brightly coloured, odd-looking socks on this side of the continent. So even I had a difficult time deciding what my Mum would approve of from my collection. Still, we settled on a long pair of warm green socks for her and returned to the hospital. We found her just as we left her, soaking in God’s word.  I showed her the socks expecting her usual reaction of near-embarassment, but instead I got a huge smile, a thank-you and a “These are nice socks! Can I keep them?” Joe and I looked at each other in amazement. Sue joined us after her shift and the fun continued. We ate chips hoping not to get caught and laughed about everything under the sun.

At about 3pm a nurse came in to take her stats and prepare her for theatre. At that point she began to ask us to remain united, to stay strong, to keep praying… and she handed me a bag and asked me to take good care of it and only to open it incase of an emergency. We all dismissed her with our usual banter “Eh Mum, you’ll outlive all of us, you will be fine. You will still be here for Noa’s wedding”. Still she continued. She spoke of how happy she was that she had spoken to Ronn that morning. She spoke about how she wanted our graduation pictures hang on the dining room including precise instructions on how to arrange them. She spoke, we listened, but we didn’t hear.

Eventually the time came for her to go to theatre. Sue said a prayer and followed her to as far as they would let her. After that we had the longest wait of our lives. A few of our friends and our Aunty Sellah came to keep us company and we dulled our anxiety with endless stories. The surgery was to take 2-3 hours. After 4 hours, we began to worry that something could have gone wrong and we sent Sue to find out. She came back with the best news ever. The surgery had been a complete success and Mum had actually been in recovery for 2 of the four hours we’d been waiting. She was soon wheeled back to her bed and we went in to see her. She called each of us by name, all seven of us, and greeted us. Even in her pain, she was hospitable. She told us that the surgery was a success and we rejoiced with her. Because she was heavily sedated, we thought it best to allow her to rest. Joe said a prayer and we left her in the best hands we could – in God’s hands.

You can understand our absolute shock and devastation when the hospital called us at 1.30am in the night to let us know that Mum had passed on an hour after we left her. I have walked through the events of that day in every still moment since she passed on. I have cursed the day we walked into that hospital, I have cried bitterly at the thought that in my mum’s moment of weakness, when she needed me the most, I chose to go home and rest. My mum, who had been there for us all our lives, left this world on her own. Like Jesus at the crucifixion I literally have descended to hell.

PAUSE.

But I have refused to remain there. Mum left this world on Her terms. Only someone who walks that closely with God, gets to leave this world on their terms. I know for a fact, that when we walked out of that hospital, God showed Himself to her, and He asked her if she was ready to leave this world. I know for a fact, that Mum thought about all of us, her mum, her siblings, her children, her grandchildren, she knew we’d be fine and she said Yes Lord, let your will be done. And He in turn peacefully carried her into eternity.

Kazi ya Mungu haina makosa. The Bible that my mum loved so much says in Isaiah 57: 1-2 The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart, the devout are taken away, and no one understands

that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. 2 Those who walk uprightly

enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death. If you look at Mum right now, you can tell she is at peace, at home, she has found rest.

We may not have been prepared, we never thought it would happen, definitely not this soon, but Mum was more than prepared. And just so you understand just how closely she walked with God on the eve of her passing she wrote us a note and left it on the desktop of her computer where she knew we’d find it.

She also made sure to leave us accountable to the people she felt wouldn’t mind having us in their lives. The people who have held us when the grief threatened to overwhelm us, who have been present with us throughout every stage of mourning our beloved, even when they themselves had every right to mourn. Like Jesus on the cross gave his Mother a son and his beloved disciple a mother, mum gave us over to the people she loved and trusted. Aunty Pam, now, like your mother, you have nine children. Uncle Josiah and Aunty Sellah now you have ten. Mum knew you were upto the task, and we trust her judgement completely.  But you can be sure you have it easy. She already did all the work. She has handed over a finished product. We are good children. We were raised by the best!

Her final words to us (and that I now leave you with) were (and I quote): Despite everything, God is the father to the fatherless so to Him I leave you. Be strong in faith, live together in harmony. Do what you think will bring glory to God. Give towards God’s work and please shame the devil. Consult widely among yourselves and when it gets tough, go on your knees and pray.

She rests. The strongest, most loving, blessing we have received from God peacefully rests. And we give all thanks, all praise, and all glory to God for his perfect plan. Kazi ya Mungu haina makosa.

Amen.