An Alvaro and a Cup of Tea

Note; I wrote this story on the anniversary of my first date with my now husband.

A year ago, while going about my business at an upmarket shopping mall (read Le Toi), I received a phone call and an invitation that only God knew at the time, would change my life. Heart racing, brow sweating, lips praying.... I dropped all my bargains for the day and made a dash for my car, saying a silent prayer that the empty tank, would at least get me home without having to attempt an uphill drive on neutral. Yes, I can teach you how to do that. I talked to Ed, my car, "Don't let me down now! Work with me! I promise to fuel more than a litre next time."

See it was a difficult time in my life. That day also marked the day my contract at the UN was abruptly terminated without proper notice. 7 days was all I had to get myself ready to be unemployed. For anyone else, this would be a challenge but not as distressing as it would be for me. I was single-handedly raising my 1 year old daughter and living from paycheck to paycheck. Actually it was more of living from paycheck to debt to paycheck. My bank account had become accustomed to a minimum balance of -ve 750. That meant that I couldn't even afford to pay the ledger fees, and also that by the 30th of every month, 4 days after pay day, I was broke. Most of those times, I hadn't even paid rent. But I had a plan. I had learned that as long as I had airtime, I would always be able to find money somewhere. Borrowed money. Money that I never did know when I'd pay. I was completely caught up in a vicious cycle.

Back to that July 7th day. I raced all the way across town trying to make my way back home. I only had about half an hour to get everything in order. I needed the universe to conspire WITH me, and for Murphy to remain dead. We are talking Ngong Road at rush hour, and then Mbagathi way. With no fuel. No amount of short-cutting would save the day. At the same time I had all these thoughts going through my head. What if? What if? Is this it?

See a number of months prior to that phone call, I had finally made THAT decision. You know that right decision everyone needs to make at one point in their lives. The decision to be part of the fellowship of the unashamed. To be a fearless influencer. The decision not to look back, let up, slow down, back away or be still. The decision to accept that my past had been redeemed, my present made sense and that my future is secure. The decision to be done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, cheap giving and dwarfed goals. The decision to ditch my toxic relationship and start over with just God and I, believing fully that in His time, He will make all things beautiful. The decision to join Mizizi, despite me not 'feeling' it. The decision to attend church every Sunday, and not just so I can meet up with old friends. The decision to answer God's calling to the alter, to confess and repent, and enjoy a personal relationship with Jesus.

That was a couple of months ago, right now I needed to get home fast. And get home fast I did. Then came the most difficult, earth shattering decision I ever had to make.... WHAT WILL I WEAR?? I threw out all manner of clothing onto my bed, trying them on, changing tops, wondering what could make the best impression and present me in the best light. I tried them all on. Dismissing everything, eventually ending up wearing some of my recent acquisitions from Le Toi (the upmarket shopping place, remember?). Just as I was slipping on my shoes, my phone rang again. "I'm through with what I was doing at Strathmore, are you ready?" My palms sweated. A cold shiver ran down the back of my neck. "Yes, I'm ready". I replied in my most collected voice. "Where is your house exactly?" Oh my goodness, you can't come to my house!!! You can't see me for what I really am!! "Its hard to explain. Just pick me up on the side of the road next to the Coke distributor." And so he did.

In retrospect, there really is something about life and death lying in the power of the tongue. See I always justified my toxic relationship by stating categorically, that no man ever married a single woman. And then there is that classic one, better the devil you know, than the angel you don't know. And how about this one, if you're not with the one you love, love the one your with. Oh wait, there's another one; all men are the same, they are all dogs, they are all bound to be unfaithful so it doesn't matter. Then there is; marriage is hard work anyway, regardless of who you end up with. But God countered me once through a friend, and that once was all I needed. She said to me, how dare you limit God, how dare you put God in a box, how dare you imply that the all-knowing, all-powerful, ever-present God, who has plans to give you a future and a hope, how dare you insinuate that He cannot find a man to marry you. How dare you.

So I made my way briskly across the road, noticing the parked car on the side of the road, near the Coke distributor, hazard lights turned on. I prayed my wedges wouldn't betray my lack of high-heeled-walking prowess. I prayed he wouldn't notice my fresh from the shelve jeans. I prayed that I met his standards of Godly dressing. I prayed my roll-on was truly the 24hr antiperspirant the label said it was. I made my way into the car, and once again used my cool, calm, collected, shivering voice to say "Hi" and threw in my cutest smile. Did I brush my teeth? Too late for that now. "Where do you want to go", asked he. "On our honeymoon?" I thought. "I don't know, you decide." is what actually came out. And there began a long list of decisions that he'd have to make. So we went to Tamasha at Uchumi Langata Hyper, we watched airplanes take off and land (amidst what I would term as a grueling 'interview'), and there I had an Alvaro and he had a cup of tea.

Psalm 103
Of David.
1 Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2 Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-

3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.